This is the first summer that I have stayed home and not worked on a Master's thesis or looked for a house; every other summer I have had some big purpose or goal. I am finding that I struggle to not feel guilty about staying home each day and doing whatever I please while my husband goes to work. I know I need the break, I know our house needs my attention, and I know that I will work very hard this summer. Yet, for some reason, I still have to remind myself daily that I am doing a very important job.
To ease my guilt I continued a vital motivating tradition in my life: the summer to do list. I have made this list every summer for the past four years. Generally, I get about 90% of the stuff on the list done each summer. As a teacher, I can then give myself an "A" (or a "B" - depending on the actual percentage) for my summer. I'll be sure to keep you posted about my progress this summer.
My list this year includes cleaning out most closets in our house, doing all kinds of work on our basement, and finishing some small, incomplete home improvement projects. Maybe the reason I still feel guilty is that the list also includes taking a spinning (yarn, not on a bike) class and finishing some artworks I started a while back, as well as, getting back in shape, losing weight, and taking a Yoga class. I know I shouldn't feel guilty about spending time doing things like that for myself, but I still struggle as I spend two hours a day on my workout, 30 minutes on my tan, and leisurely get around to working on the closets while my hubby trudges out the door to several hours at the office and in meetings with clients.
I can at least say that I will probably earn an "A" this summer. And when I look back at the list, I realize that I am doing my part in our home; I just happen to enjoy doing it. Besides, I earned the break by cramming a years worth of work into ten months. What do I have to feel guilty about? Wait, don't answser that; I don't want to know!